A sneeze woke me up today... It was my 6 year old daughter, standing beside my bed. When I opened my eyes, she approached and said ''Joyeux anniversaire Maman'' (Happy birthday Mama). And then I remembered - ah yes, indeed, it is. I hugged her little body and pulled her closer. Softness. Then I heard the sound of running / stomping feet approaching - that would be my youngest daughter, almost 3. Milk Mama, she said, stumbling unto me, her arms wrapped aroung my neck, hugging thight. And I smiled.
They both walked away to go play, and as I was lying in bed, hearing their joyous chatter about tiny furry rabbits and magical horses, I smiled. And for a moment, paused. What was this feeling that filled my entire body? What was this space that I was feeling in my being?
Peace.. Peace like the pause between the inhale and the exhale. And then again between the exhale and the inhale. This place that seems like a void, and yet also like the All.
Spaciousness... This sense of spaciousness within the Now filled my heart, my mind, my entire body. I had an internal smile as I remembered... Spaciousness is my work for 2013 and, as we are coming at an end to this year, my whole life seemed to indicate that I had not been able to attain it, as I evaluated it in terms of time (have more time to do what my heart longs to do) and space (have a spotless, clutter less home). But this morning, I understood - spaciousness is not something that can be attained from the outside, by "controlling" our environment, or "managing" our time. True spaciousness for me, in the way I experienced it this morning, is an internal state. A deep, profound Yes... What a beautiful birthday gift I received from the Universe...
Gratefulness and gracefulness filled me.
We went downstairs, and as I was cutting the yielding golden flesh of a mango, the smell filled my being. I closed my eyes, brought the mango closer to my nose, inhaled deeply. Paused. Yes. This feeling of spaciousness again.
At the eve of the start of the New Year, and as a gift to you on my birthday, I wish you:
Present moments of spaciousness.
True Acceptance - of what is, and of yourself.
Namaste and Blessings,